Our Story: Susan and Julie

Daughter of U.S. Army Veteran Calls on Congress for Help

Binational Same-Sex Couples to Congress: “Enact LGBT-Inclusive Immigration Reform!”

The United States recently celebrated Thanksgiving and, while I am giving thanks for many things, one of my greatest sorrows during this holiday season is that my loving partner, Julie, was not with me to celebrate this greatest of American family holidays. Julie is my family – my chosen family. But our laws in the U.S. dictate that, even though we could legally marry in New York State, I am unable to sponsor her for immigration as my spouse.

It may seem rather cheesy to say we “met online” but, with technology as it is today, when a mutual friend introduced us to each other via email, we found we had a lot in common and became friends. We were email friends for two years before I met Julie in person during a business trip to Australia. And in that meeting, we confirmed that daily emails and weekly Skype visits had led us to more than simply friendship. We knew it would be hard – being a bi-national couple is hard on so many fronts – but being a same-sex couple, when neither of our countries recognized us as a couple, was a harsh reality that confronted us immediately.

I lived in Hong Kong at the time we met. When I retired in 2011, we were finally able to live together full time. We share homes in both Australia and the United States, but after a grilling at the Chicago airport earlier in 2012, we realized that Julie needed to be careful.

It’s been hard over the last several months. Both of my parents have had surgery, and I have become a primary supporter. Julie was trained as a nurse but, because we fear she might be barred at immigration, we decided that only I would come back to the U.S. to help them. My parents love and trust her, and it would benefit them for her to be able to be here. I would also benefit from her support.

I’ll be honest. I’m one of the lucky ones. Australia changed its laws in 2009 by defining a “de facto” couple as two people (opposite- or same-gender) who have a genuine, exclusive relationship, but who are not married. Australia has granted me permanent residency as a “de facto” partner. Julie and I went through a process that would be analogous to the US process for sponsoring a spouse for immigration. We proved that our relationship was genuine through a 5-inch stack of paper detailing the mingling of our finances, our daily Skype logs, our email presence, sworn support letters from her family of origin and my business colleagues, police checks (three different countries for me!), and a medical exam. I was granted a two-year temporary residency visa that allowed me to enter and leave Australia at will. Last August, that temporary visa was replaced with a Permanent Resident visa – the equivalent of a U.S. Green Card. I can live, work and pay taxes in Australia. The Australian government recognizes me as part of a couple.

Friends have asked us, “Why don’t you just live in Australia?” We could do that. But we have lives in both countries, and we have family in both countries. We have elderly parents in both countries. We have homes in both countries. If Australia recognizes us, why can’t the United States? Why must we choose one country over the other? Why should I essentially have to live in exile to be with my partner full-time?

My U.S. citizenship is very important to me. I was not born in the U.S. I am a naturalized U.S. citizen, as my father was serving in the United States Army in Germany when I was born. Even though I was born to U.S. citizens, I am not a “natural-born” US citizen. After all that my parents went through for our family and for our country, it’s very hard to be told that my relationship, my family, is not worthy to be in the United States.

The tide is turning in the United States. We celebrated with Maine, Washington and Maryland on Election Day as same-sex marriage was approved at the ballot box. We watch with fingers crossed as the Supreme Court of the United States decides whether to rule on the constitutionality of Section 3 of DOMA on November 30th. We pray for luck every May 1st when the results of the U.S. Diversity Lottery are announced.

For six years now, Julie and I have done everything we can to be together, even though U.S. laws keep us apart. We are both retired, and are watching our available funds for airline tickets dwindle. We watch the aging of our parents, and want to spend as much time with them as we can in their elder years.

We continue to hope. We continue to believe that we are human beings, with the same rights, the same dreams and the same feelings as our straight friends and family. We wish to have the pursuit of happiness in our own backyard!

We are America. We are Australia. We are a family.

Are you a same sex binational couple?  Do you have families / friends affected by this issue?  Please contact us at http://bit.ly/O4ICountMeIn if you are interested in sharing your story.

Call to Action! Out4Immigration Needs Couples to Speak Up Now!

by Amos Lim

Out4Immigration has always advocated a multi-pronged approach to getting our issues resolved. We have pushed for passage of an Inclusive Comprehensive Immigration Reform, supported the passage of the Uniting American Families Act, the Reuniting Families Act, the repeal of DOMA (Respect for Marriage Act) and supported the removal of the one-year filing deadline for asylum seekers. And most recently, we pushed for an abeyance policy from the Obama administration with regards to green card applications and making sure that LGBT families are included in ICE's Deportation Guidelines (the so-called Morton Memo which was released in June 2011). These recently revised guidelines will now stop the deportation of partners/spouses of same-sex binational couples where the partner/spouse is without lawful status and in removal proceedings.

Our all-volunteer group did this through education, raising awareness, meeting legislators, forming coalitions with allies in the LGBT and immigration communities and circulating petitions on change.org.

Our last petition on change.org "LGBT Binational Couples Must Be Included in ICE Deportation Guidelines", received about 2,000 signatures. I had the opportunity to deliver this, together with stories from same-sex binational couples and photos from our United by Love, Divided by Law Tumblr blog to the White House when I was there for an AAPI conference last July.

The petition signatures, the stories and the photos, together with the letter sent by Democratic House members urging for LGBT inclusion in the ICE Deportation Guidelines, helped push the Obama administration to finally officially include us in DHS' deportation guidelines.

Now that the election is over and President Obama has been re-elected to a second term, the landscape for moving our issue forward seems even more positive. 

We will know by the first week of December if SCOTUS (Supreme Court of the United States) will hear all or any of the DOMA cases. This means that by June 28, 2013, we will know if DOMA is finally ruled unconstitutional and legally married same-sex couples will get federal marriage rights, all 1138 of them (including, of course, the ability of U.S. citizen to sponsor their foreign spouse for a green card!)

In the week since the election, we have also seen both Democrat and Republican leaders coming out vocally in support of Comprehensive Immigration Reform. 
 
President Obama himself said during his Victory Speech and a follow-up press conference that he wants immigration reform in the United States.

It seems from all indications that a Comprehensive Immigration Reform (CIR) bill will be introduced in January when the new Congress convenes.

So, today, more important than ever, we need to continue the push to ensure that:

1. We have an inclusive (LGBT-positive) comprehensive immigration reform bill introduced in Congress.
2. The LGBT community does not “get thrown under the bus” or negotiated away when CIR comes up for a vote in Congress.
3. We demand that the Obama administration fully adjudicate all green card cases filed by same-sex married couples including full fact-finding, conducting interviews to determine the bona fides of the marital relationships, either by USCIS (in the U.S.) or by Consular officials abroad, and then hold a final decision on abeyance until the Supreme Court has ruled on the constitutionality of DOMA.
4. We urge the Obama administration to open up the humanitarian parole process to partners/spouses of lesbian and gay Americans, to bring our fellow binational couples back from forced exile and to end the separation of binational couples and LGBT families until DOMA has been resolved by the Supreme Court.

To do this, we will be working with other grassroots organization like GetEQUAL and various LGBT/Immigration organizations to create and raise awareness about this issue. We need to make this a moral issue that Congress needs to fix immediately through legislation. We need to make Congress understand that they cannot push this aside.

GetEQUAL and the DREAMers have waged a very successful campaign of speaking out, telling their stories and not taking NO for an answer! I believe that we can do something similar to their campaign so that we cannot be ignored anymore!

However, to do that, we will need couples to speak up and tell their stories to the media.
Therefore, we are putting out a call to couples who have suffered under DOMA to come forward and speak up. We can work with you to fine-tune your message as you tell your story.  

Please let us know by completing this form (http://bit.ly/O4ICountMeIn). Submit the form and we will get in touch with you very soon. 

Our time is NOW! Stand up and speak out. Many believe we are in the final phases of ending the terrible discrimination we have faced as same-sex binational couples due to unfair immigration laws and DOMA. Join us and be a part of the change.