VIDEO: MoveOn Video Encourages Support for Comprehensive Immigration Reform

The video, which features Amos Lim, Out4Immigration's Director of Community Outreach, also notes that there are flaws with the bill as written, namely the plan to exclude LGBT families.

Sen. Leahy Files Two Amendments to Include Same-Sex Binationals in Immigration Reform

by Kathy Drasky

Senator Patrick Leahy (D-VT) has filed two amendments to include same-sex binationals in immigration reform legislation.

The first amendment is the Uniting American Families Act (UAFA), which has thus far proven controversial because of its language that technically creates a new category for immigration officials to consider: "permanent partner".

The second amendment filed by Leahy is one that calls for immigration reform to include married same-sex couples. That's right - if you have entered into a marriage in a state, country or jurisdiction (i.e., Washington D.C.) where it is legally recognized, then this amendment says you should have the right to equal treatment under immigration law to have that marriage recognized.

Read all about the Leahy amendments at Buzzfeed: http://www.buzzfeed.com/chrisgeidner/leahy-files-amendments-to-include-gay-couples-in-immigration

To paraphrase some leading advocates, Lavi Soloway of the DOMA Project calls Leahy's strategy with the second amendment "a strategic master stroke". The vice president of the Human Rights Campaign, Fred Sainz, calls it "brilliant."

With more than 50 Senators from both parties supporting marriage equality, asking that our marriages be recognized for immigration purposes makes sense. And, hopefully it will help more of them, like Sen. Dianne Feinstein who sits on the judiciary committee and will vote on this amendment, understand why we also need UAFA language. Because we still only have marriage equality in a handful of states. Because we still do not know which way DOMA and the Prop. 8 cases will be ruled on by the Supreme Court. Because same-sex binationals, already suffering extreme financial hardship after years of trying to keep our families together with no legal safety net whatsoever, should not be forced to make an expensive trip to a state or country that will marry us because of continued discrimination in a home state.

Here's our action, please make two calls:
1) Sen. Leahy, at 202-224-4242, and thank him for recognizing and including same-sex binational families in immigration reform.
2) Sen. Feinstein, at 415-393-0707 and ask her to please vote "Yes" on both of Sen. Leahy's amendments to include same-sex binational families in immigration reform. (You do not have to live in California to make this call).

If you use Twitter, please follow @Out4Immigration at https://twitter.com/out4immigration

We've been tweeting up a storm and every retweet counts and helps us spread the word.

If you are on Facebook, please join our page at https://www.facebook.com/Out4Immigration

Share our posts with your Facebook community.

We need to keep our stories front and center in the coming weeks to make sure that we are included in immigration reform. Because we cannot predict how the Supreme Court will rule. Anything less than total removal of DOMA and marriage equality in all 50 states means we still need the amendments filed by Sen. Leahy included in the immigration bill.

And, quite frankly, we will all still need this broken system to be overhauled and fixed. Because even in the best case scenario, the death of DOMA, all of us same-sex binationals will have just been let into the very system we have fought so hard to be a part of. We'll be wanting it to work properly so that our green cards are processed without delay.

Our Family Coalition and Out4Immigration Call for an Inclusive Comprehensive Immigration Reform!

Our Family Coalition and Out4Immigration call for an Inclusive Comprehensive Immigration Reform that upholds our nation's family unification principles and is inclusive of LGBT families. Ten days ago, a bipartisan group of Senators released their much anticipated Immigration Reform bill, called the Border Security, Economic Opportunity, and Immigration Modernization Act. We applaud the inclusion of a path to citizenship for the nation's 11 million undocumented new immigrants as a positive step to reform our flawed system. It looks like legislators still have a long way to go, however, as they attempt to align our immigration laws to family values that recognize ALL of our families. Under the current version of the bill, LGBT spouses are completely invisible within the definition of who is considered immediate family for the purpose of immigration law. This exclusion is devastating to more than 40,000 same-sex bi-national couples currently living under the constant fear of being torn away from their families or having to choose between their nation and their loved ones.   There are also other problematic provisions in the bill that would impact not only LGBT families, but a large majority of working class families. Low-income immigrants, for example, may be not be eligible to access the benefits of the Affordable Care Act, Medicaid, and CHIP for 10 years! This is a major issue that will, literally, cost lives.   We will continue to push for LGBT Family inclusion and for the removal of unfair roadblocks and other harsh measures that are not aligned with our values as the bill moves through the amendment process. Please join us!   What can you do? 1. Call on elected leaders to support LGBT inclusion in the Comprehensive Immigration Reform! Senator Dianne Feinstein (D-CA): 202-224-3841, Senator Barbara Boxer (D-CA): 202-224-3553. If you are not in California, call (202) 224-3121; ask to be transferred to your Senator. We must let our representatives know that the Senate's immigration bill is incomplete without our families.    2. Join our LGBT contingency at the May 1st March/Rally here in SF. The March will begin at 24th and Mission at 3pm and proceed to Civic Center for a 5pm rally. Our group is gathering at 2:30pm by the 24th St. BART - look out for colorful "Proud of My Family" Posters and Out4Immigration's banner. We will not give up the fight until LGBT families, and same-sex bi-national couples are included in a just and humane bill!

National Day of Action for Comprehensive Immigration Reform - San Francisco

In conjunction with the National Day of Action for Immigration Reform, the San Francisco Bay Coalition for Immigrant Justice will be holding a rally and a march on April 10th, Wednesday starting at 3pm in front of the office building of Senator Dianne Feinstein (One Post Street).

The event page on Facebook is here:  https://www.facebook.com/events/232637360208772/

Click to enlarge

Out4Immigration will have a same-sex binational couple as part of the immigrant rights' coalition visiting Sen. Feinstein's office before the march from One Post Street to Civic Center. We will also have at least one other same-sex binational couple speaking at the rally at Civic Center.

We are marching to make sure that CIR is inclusive, humane and includes LGBT families!  

If you live in San Francisco Bay Area, I would urge all of you to come out and march with us!

We are also looking for other events happening across the country.  If you know of any events, please let us know - email info@out4immigration.org

UPDATE: You can find the list of events happening across the country here:  http://www.citizenship-now.org/echoevents/ 

WATCH: Judy and Karin Talk about Same-Sex Binational Couples on Outlook Video

Torn Apart author Judy Rickard and her wife Karin Bogliolo have been on the front lines of our fight for equal rights for same-sex binational couples. If you haven't read about Judy and Karin, or heard about any of their recent activism, including a trip to Las Vegas to be in the audience when President Obama announced his plans for Comprehensive Immigration Reform earlier this year, as well as a recent trip to Washington DC where Judy was named a Cesar Chavez Champion of Change, this video will introduce you to the self-proclaimed "Golden Girls" of our movement. We can all be inspired by their tireless advocacy on behalf of same-sex binationals.

Our Story: Ken & Otts

As told to members of Congress in Washington DC, March 13, 2013

Otts Bolisay and Ken Thompson in Washington DC.

My partner, Otts Bolisay (Twitter: @ottsatwork), and I (Twitter: @7ofKen) were invited to tell our story in front of a small group of House Democrats who are leaders on trying to get comprehensive immigration reform (CIR) passed. The '"people's hearing" in the Senate Office Building took place March 13, 2013 in Washington DC, and was the culminating event of the Keeping Families Together bus tours, which occurred in many states the preceding week. These events were part of Fair Immigration Reform Movement campaign coordinated by the Center for Community Change (CCC).

Otts had participated in the bus tour that occurred in Washington State (we live in Seattle), which included over 40 immigrant riders, who took turns speaking at different stops throughout the state. Otts' speech on his story as part of a same-sex binational couple came to the attention of CCC, and we were asked to present at the hearing in Washington DC, where we were one of only four families invited to tell their stories. That CCC chose to prioritize our story as one of very few, shows the real commitment of that organization to inclusion of same-sex binational couples in CIR.

Our testimony was fairly lengthy, but here are a few quotes from it, that give a flavor of what we presented:

Otts:

It is a hard thing to walk away from your loved ones, not being sure when you'll see them again. I've put it out of my mind, what it felt like in the airport that day when Ken and I said goodbye to each other. As he walked away, I could feel the air suddenly pressing on top of me, how it wouldn't enter my lungs. The inability to stand, or speak. Having to close my eyes because the dizziness would make me collapse. 

All of this happened in 2007. My work visa had expired, and in order to qualify for a new one, I needed to leave the country, and not reenter for a full year. 

But there was no guarantee that I would get that visa. Which meant that I had to leave Ken (we had been together 6 years at that point), my community, my home, without knowing for certain that I would see any of it again. It is a terrible thing.

At this point in my life, I've spent almost 24 years in this country. I turn 41 this July. That's over half my life. I've spent over half my life in this country on some kind of temporary status, with no path to permanence.

Ken:

So what lies ahead for Otts and I? The clock is ticking again for us. Otts' visa expires next year, and once again, we will have to leave the US.

Our dilemma is that there is no country we can live together in permanently, and as of right now, there is no path back to the US for Otts. I can not move permanently to Otts' home country. So where can we go?

If this sounds like some sort of horrible limbo to you -- it is. But our limbo is not limited to just the times we are exiled from the US, it permeates every day of our lives. We've avoided, or put off, most every major decision most couples make: about changing jobs, moving to another city, buying a home. Or having children. It is a life deferred, a thing I'm sure many here are familiar with.

Some people must wonder why gays and lesbians are part of an immigration reform discussion. Aside from the fact that many people, like Otts, are both immigrants and LGBT, after hearing the stories of everyone here today, I'm more convinced than ever that there are more similarities than differences between these two communities. We both want to keep our families together. We both lead lives of deferred plans and dreams. We both are accepted and rejected by the country we call home.

We were really blown away by how supportive the crowd and the Representatives were. We got hugs, and a standing ovation. This truly is a time that the LGBT and immigrants rights' movements can band together, and be stronger together than apart.

[To hear more on Otts and Ken's story listen to this local NPR station report from February 2013. Click here now] 

Are you a same-sex binational couple? Do you have families / friends affected by this issue? Please contact us at http://bit.ly/O4ICountMeIn if you are interested in sharing your story.

Join the Fight: Townhall on Immigration Reform (Thursday, March 21st)

There is another Comprehensive Immigration Reform Townhall happening in San Francisco, in case people from San Francisco Bay Area can make it.   Many local Out4Immigration folks have been engaging these efforts, and this one will include LGBT binational couples issues. Please feel free to contact Erik for additional information at erikschnabel@hotmail.com

Join the Fight: Townhall on Immigration Reform
Thursday, March 21st, 5:30pm-7:30pm
St. John the Evangelist Church, 1661 15th St., San Francisco

Please join community-based organizations, interfaith groups, legal advocates, worker centers, labor and immigrant and community members from SF to learn about what is being proposed at the national level, the impacts our current broken immigration system is having on our communities and what YOU can do locally and statewide to address the criminalization and deportation of our immigrant communities.

• Learn about the CIR proposals coming out of DC and the negative impacts these could have on workers, families, students.    

• Hear testimony from community members including: DREAMers, union workers, low-wage workers, survivors of S-comm and those already torn apart by deportation proceedings. 

• Get engaged and mobilize locally to help end ICE & police collaboration in San Francisco, ensure due process for all immigrants and demand inclusive and just immigration reform! Make California a leader in fighting deportations!

Translation provided in Spanish & Cantonese. Food and childcare will be provided.Sponsored by San Francisco Immigrant Rights Committee (SFIRDC) and Job with Justice (JWJ)

This is in addition to another event happening at the same location this Sunday, March 17th at 3pm.  the Faith and Community Forum will be attended by Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi and Rep Luis Gutierrez.  They will be present at this event to listen to our testimony about why we need an INCLUSIVE Comprehensive Immigration Reform.  For more information about the March 17th event, click through here to the facebook event page.

Our Story: Avril & Rika

A Bittersweet Citizenship

Rika and I met in Johannesburg, South Africa in 1997. We are both film and television editors. I had been on my own for 20 years and had begun to believe that was how it would always be for me.Then I walked into an edit suite one day and there she was! We worked on a few productions together and found that we enjoyed the experience tremendously. I guess it was inevitable that in the year 2000, romance sneaked into the relationship. We moved in together in 2001.

 

 
Following a traumatic experience which made living in South Africa really difficult for me, I applied for an EB-1 visa (permanent residency based on exceptional ability) – it was granted four years later.

In 2006, we came to the US to activate my green card. We loved it here – being out and about and not having to rush home before dark. We could walk everywhere and, for the first time in our lives, we felt free. On that trip, we met with my immigration lawyer who told us that there was no way I could sponsor Rika as my partner. If we were a heterosexual couple, none of this would be an issue; I would be able to sponsor Rika’s permanent residence. The fact that we had been in a committed relationship for six years, had no value in the eyes of immigration authorities. Therefore an F1 visa seemed to be the only option for Rika.

We went back to South Africa to pack up our belongings and we moved to the US. At the end of May 2007, we began our new life here, together. Even though she already had two university degrees, Rika enrolled at a US college and studied for 18 months. She was then allowed to work for a year as part of the visa (practical training). After a few months, the anxiety set in. What would happen when the year was up? We had already spent our savings on her education and the move across continents, how could we make this work for any length of time? The strain on our relationship was often almost too much to bear. 

In her late thirties, Rika became the oldest intern at a large company! Soon afterwards, she managed to convert the internship into a job. Her vast experience in post-production led the company to agree to apply for an H1B work visa - everything looked good to go! But the H1B numbers ran out and we missed the boat. We were devastated. We tried to stay positive. We focused on our relationship, our love, our commitment to each other. Over cardboard boxes and packing tape, we celebrated our 9^th year of being together.

And we knew that even if we went somewhere else together, I would have to come back within six months to keep my permanent resident status intact. We also knew this would mean we may have to be apart. We had been out of the country for about three months when Rika was offered her old job back – this time the H1B application was submitted very early and there were still visas available.

We came back to Los Angeles in late 2010 and in September 2011, I became an American citizen. It was a huge event in my life, but it was bittersweet, because, instead of the two of us standing side by side pledging allegiance to the flag, we were separated by immigration policies that refuse to see us as a family.

We are in the process of applying for Rika’s second three-year work visa. The strain has been enormous: Rika feels that she constantly has to push herself to do better than everybody else, because if she loses her job, we lose the life we’ve built, the plans we’ve made and goals we’ve set for our lives together.

Rika is the love of my life. I am in my mid-fifties and cannot keep starting over in a different country. This is my home. This is a country that I have grown to love and where I voted proudly for the first time last year. I just wish that the United States would afford us the same rights that it affords heterosexual couples.

Are you a same-sex binational couple? Do you have families / friends affected by this issue? Please contact us at http://bit.ly/O4ICountMeIn if you are interested in sharing your story.

Our Story: Eric & Jon

More Than 2,000 Days Trying to "Figure This Out"

On June 29, 2006 I boarded a flight to New York’s LaGuardia Airport that would completely change my life. It was not my first trip to New York, but it was my first solo trip. I thought that I may be a little crazy for arranging this trip, but I’m a scientist and a bit of a planner. There is always a Plan B and I will always find a solution

A few months earlier, several months into my Match.com membership, I had entered a friend’s New York zip code in the search window. One of the very first profiles caught my attention—Asian guy, blue eyes. I have always been drawn to those things that are out of the ordinary. I quickly sent a message, probably something about they eyes, but I don’t really remember.

Later that day, much to my surprise, the blue-eyed Asian boy had replied to my message. We struck up a correspondence that soon moved to video chat – where I learned that the blue-eyed Asian boy looked

EXACTLY like his profile! Well, except the eyes...it never occurred to me that people wear colored contacts, but it did not matter. We were finally talking, not just typing, and our first video chat lasted several hours.

Valentine's Day 2013 marked more than 2,000 days since Jay's work visa expired and he had to leave the US.

Over the next few months our friendship grew and we began planning a visit. Being a teacher, I had two months vacation, but Jon had just two weeks. We decided to spend a week together in New York at his apartment and I made the flight to LaGuardia. We had agreed to meet at his job, my Plan B being I would go stay with friends if our first meeting in person turned out not to be all that I had anticipated from the months getting to know each other online.

Standing on the sidewalk, in front of Jon’s office building, I nervously dialed his number. I saw a familiar face approach the revolving door, he walked down the steps, gave a big hug, and we had our first kiss. Everything was strangely familiar—we knew a lot about one another from our daily conversations, but had never so much as touched. Nonetheless, I felt as if I had come home after a long trip—my heart felt a great sense of comfort. 

The week went by quickly and comfort grew into anxiety as the 4^th of July approached—I was going home the following morning. I often wondered how I would know when I fell in love. Although there are many people that I love and care about, what I experienced with Jon was different. Being with him was home. I had found my life partner, and there is no other way to explain it, I simply knew it. 

Throwing all caution to the wind, I confessed to Jon that “. . .this may sound completely ridiculous, but I’m falling in love with you.” Thankfully, he did not run! We have been together ever since.

Over the next year and a half we scheduled trips between our respective cities every three weeks. Our daily video sessions grew to include watching TV together, just like my parents have done for the last 40 years. The only difference was that our recliners were in different cities. 

 

One year later, the day before my birthday, I had boarded my flight back to Miami when my phone rang. It was Jon and he was devastated. “I just received a letter and it says that my work visa was not renewed. I have 30 days leave.” 

My heart literally sunk. 

I quickly shifted into survival mode, calmly responding that we would “figure this out.” That flight to Miami turned out to be infinitely longer than any of my 24+ hour flights to Asia would be over the next several years. 

Valentine’s Day 2013 marked the 2033^rd day that we have spent trying to “figure this out.” The only thing that stands in our way is a law that does not consider our seven-year commitment equal to my sister’s two- year marriage to her husband.

We are thankful and very fortunate to have two loving and fully supportive families. We have three nephews and a niece that do not know of time when Jon and I were not together. They know that Uncle Eric and Uncle Jon love them and spoil them every chance they get. Our relationship is not odd or unusual to them. What is odd is that we cannot live together—try explaining that to an eight year old! They know that I will be in Asia during the summers and oftentimes we will miss holidays and birthdays while we travel to be with one another. 

Well-meaning friends often ask “Why don’t you get married in [New York, Massachusetts, Connecticut, Iowa, Maine, Maryland, New Hampshire, Vermont, Washington or Washington DC]?” Few realize that marriage in those states will only resolve a few state issues. Unfortunately, the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) exclusively withholds 1,138 federal rights from same-sex couples, including immigration. 

We are hopeful that comprehensive immigration reform will include binational LGBT families.  Including the Uniting American Families Act (UAFA) would simply acknowledge us as a family and provide the means for us to finally live together. The alternative is to live in exile and leave my family, friends, career, and life that I have built over the last 39 years behind. 

We ask all our friends, family, colleagues and allies to help us and other same-sex binational couples.  Call the Capitol switchboard at (202) 224-3121, ask to speak with your senators/representative, and encourage them to include the UAFA as part of comprehensive immigration reform. If it is easier, you can email your senators at http://www.senate.gov and representatives at http://www.house.gov .  Forward this story and the others on the Out4Immigration blog to your network and ask that they do the same.  

Are you a same-sex binational couple? Do you have families / friends affected by this issue? Please contact us at http://bit.ly/O4ICountMeIn if you are interested in sharing your story.

Our Story: LiQiang & Richard

Holding Hands and Praying for Change

Richard and I met in February 2002 in Calgary Canada. I am Canadian and Richard is American.

Initially, Richard was going to move to Canada to be with me, Canada has same-sex marriage and gay couples have all the same rights as straight couples. But Richard wanted to keep his job in the U.S., so he was “commuting” between the U.S. and Canada. This became very stressful, especially in the winter, when flights to and from Canada are often canceled die to the weather.

In 2005, I found a job in Sacramento, California. I was under the TN visa (North America Free Trade Agreement). While I worked for this company for 7 years, the company had no intention of sponsoring me for a green card. While I was able to travel in and out of the U.S. on the TN visa, immigration officials often informed me that I should get permanent resident status because they told me that the TN visa could be “dismissed” at any time.

"I don’t think the U.S. government and its current immigration system even understand how forcing us to separate at a time like this is damaging our lives."

During this time we tried to live our lives as normally as possible, Richard retired from his job and we bought a house. I kept looking for employment that would lead to a green card and in 2012 I thought I had found this. I started a new job in Southern California working on a project that seemed to have a lot of potential. We put our house up for sale and planned to move to Los Angeles. But – after 5 months, the project ended – and I was without a job and the promise of a green card.

I have now been told that I must leave the US in 30 days, if not I will become undocumented.

My plan is to return to Canada, re-establish my residency and then come back to the U.S. as a visitor in order to complete the sale of our home.

Meanwhile we are living off Richard’s retirement income. It is a very difficult time for us right now. I don’t think the U.S. government and its current immigration system even understand how forcing us to separate at a time like this is damaging our lives. We have been together for 11 years, overcoming many obstacles, but this is by far the most difficult.

We are holding hands and praying for change – the inclusion of same-sex binationals in immigration reform – which would allow Richard to sponsor me as his partner and keep us together in America.

Are you a same-sex binational couple?  Do you have families / friends affected by this issue?  Please contact us at http://bit.ly/O4ICountMeIn if you are interested in sharing your story.

Our Story: Amanda & Pallavi

Doctors with Borders 

Pallavi and I met in 1999 when we were students at Whittier College in Whittier, CA. Pallavi was on a student visa. She was a nerdy international student and I was a jock-ish college athlete. We may never have met at a larger school so perhaps our union was destined (cue Pallavi rolling her eyes at me). We were friends at first and kept in touch over the years.

After graduating in 2000, I pursed a naturopathic doctorate degree in Portland, OR. In 2005, I graduated from medical school and shortly thereafter took a research position in the psychology department at the University of Denver (DU), where (coincidentally) Pallavi was earning her Ph.D. in clinical psychology. We became a couple in March 2006 and were married in August 2012 in San Diego, joined by 60 of our closest friends and family.

Pallavi and Amanda are same-sex binational couple forced to make the heart-wrenching decision to live apart due to DOMA and unjust immigration laws.

We legalized our marriage in November 2012 in Vermont.

For the past six years, we have lived together in Colorado, and although Colorado does not recognize our relationship in any way, we have been lucky enough to be spared many of the trials faced by same-sex binational couples. Pallavi has stable employment as a researcher at a Denver-based non-profit institute and her employer has filed for a permanent residency application on her behalf. However, despite living in the U.S. since she was 18 years old, and earning her bachelor’s degree and Ph.D. in the U.S., Pallavi’s permanent residency application will not be processed and approved for another 7 years. Employment-based permanent residency applications are subject to per-country quotas and the backlog for India will take nearly a decade longer to be processed.

This year I was offered a post-doctoral research fellowship at NYU Langone Medical Center. Due to the fact that our marriage is not recognized by the federal government Pallavi’s status in the U.S. is solely dependent on her current employer. Thus, we are preparing to move apart from one another for an indefinite length of time so that I can pursue the very best option for my career and so that she remains "in status" in the U.S.

If we could file a permanent residency application through marriage, Pallavi would have permanent residency in the U.S. in a matter of months and could more easily switch to an employer in New York City. Yielding to the current laws of this country is threatening our marriage by forcing us to sustain a long-distance relationship living 1,700 miles apart.

I look around at our heterosexual couple friends (some of whom are binational as well) who must make difficult decisions about work and careers and none of them are forced to experience the indignity of separating from spouses because their country doesn’t deem their lives and loved ones to be valid.

I am American. My life’s work (and that of my wife’s) is devoted to improving the lives of other Americans. If being a good citizen means we take care of ourselves, each other, and our communities, then we are good citizens and we belong here together.

Please help ensure that comprehensive immigration reform includes LGBT families – like ours - as proposed by President Obama.

Are you a same-sex binational couple?  Do you have families / friends affected by this issue?  Please contact us at http://bit.ly/O4ICountMeIn if you are interested in sharing your story.

Our Story: Teresa & Helen

The Happy Ending Has Yet to Be Written

Helen and I met through a fan-based message board for a British television show.  At the time I was living in Milwaukee, Wisconsin and Helen was in Perth, Western Australia, neither of us knowing that the other existed. Through the message board, Helen and I started e-mailing. At first our e-mail conversations were very polite with the usual “What’s your favorite movie?” and “What do you do for a living?” but then it quickly grew into so much more. 

"The stress of having Helen on a work visa here in the States is constant."

After a few weeks of e-mails Helen gathered up the courage to call me (her words, not mine) and from the first “hello” our lives were forever changed.  After months of long-distance telephone calls we finally planned to meet in Sydney, Australia. 

Our meeting in Sydney was the most amazing experience, it was exciting and comfortable, it was like we had known each other for years, yet there was still that feeling of meeting someone new.  After our time together in Sydney Helen came to the U.S. for two weeks and after that visit knew her life was here with me in America. Although it would be hard for her to leave Australia, she flew back and made the arrangements to move to the US.  At that time we had no idea how hard it was going to be getting employment, arranging visas, selling Helen’s home and so forth.  It took us 12 months, a lot of money and a lot of stress to finally get it all sorted. The only thing that kept us both going was the fact that we were in love and that we had each other. Nothing else mattered. 

Helen and I married in a Civil Partnership ceremony in London, England on August 8, 2008. The reasons for choosing London were because of our connection to the British television show that brought us together and also because Civil Partnerships are legal in England and we wanted to be recognized as a married couple. This day was the best day of our lives and every day since has been even more amazing – although we were about to discover how hard it is for a same-sex binational couplet o stay together in America.

Helen had to find a company that would sponsor her so she could stay in the U.S. on a work visa. We investigated student visas, but although my income may have been enough to sustain us, it was not enough to sustain us both and pay for her schooling.  Australia has an E-3 visa, the first visa is good for 3 years, but then you need to have it renewed every two years.  Helen was able to obtain employment from a company willing to go through all the paperwork and expense involved in sponsoring an employee.  Her first 3-year visa was approved without any problems, but 3 years goes by quickly and before we knew it, it was renewal time.

What we thought would be a routine visit back to Australia to see her family and attend the U.S. Consulate to renewal her visa turned out to be an ordeal. Helen was put on “administrative review” which meant she was “stuck” in Australia until her case was decided. At that stage we were given no indication as to how long it would take. The wait turned out to be 3 months and during that time, Helen and I were separated which was extremely hard on us both as we didn’t know if Helen would even be allowed back in the country. Saying goodbye to each other at the airport was one of the hardest things we have both ever had to endure.

Eventually her visa was approved, but the stress and expense of “not knowing” was extremely painful beyond words. 

The stress of having Helen on a work visa here in the States is constant. If her company lays her off or goes out of business, she has only 10 days to leave the United States.  This would tear our family apart. Additionally as soon as we get a 2-year renewal the clock starts ticking on the next one. Every other year we’re heading back to Australia to “beg” the U.S. Embassy to please let her stay another 2 years.  The stress, the financial burden, the emotional roller coaster is sometimes more than you think you can take, but the hope of Comprehensive Immigration Reform and being with the one you are meant to be with keeps us going on.

Today, Helen and I are living happily together in Milwaukee, WI. We own our home, we have 4 dogs, we travel, we pay our taxes, we do all the “married” things any other couple would do; but there is never a day that goes by that we do not think about what could happen or what could have happened all because of laws that protect opposite- sex couples, but not same-sex couples. I love my country, I love my wife and family and I should not be forced to choose between her and my country.

Are you a same-sex binational couple? Do you have families / friends affected by this issue? Please contact us at http://bit.ly/O4ICountMeIn if you are interested in sharing your story.

Our Story: Kevin & Francis

Each Obstacle Keeping Us Apart Makes Us More Determined to Be Together

My name is Kevin Yeager and I am currently engaged to Francis Gelay. We are a same-sex binational couple who, like so many others, must endure being separated as a result of the marriage inequality laws in the United States.

Yet this obstacle is also what keeps me more determined than ever to fight for equality, get our story out, and encourage others to add their voices to the call to repeal DOMA.

I am a US citizen and Francis is a resident of the Philippines. In 2011 we knew that we were both ready to join our lives together. As a result, about a year ago Francis and I began researching the U.S. visa process. We quickly discovered that a fiancé visa was out of the question since this is solely reserved for heterosexual citizens. Upon much research we decided that our most viable option was to work within the current non-immigrant options available and aim for a tourist or student visa. Although a tourist visa is limited to a rather short period of time, at least it was better than nothing. Plus, I could travel over to him job permitting, of course.
  
Let me begin by saying that one can easily compare trying to obtain a tourist visa from the Philippines to the United States is much like trying to break out of a prison. I am sure many couples have faced this dilemma if one of the partner’s home residences is not considered a “First World” country. After a flight to Manila, then checking into hotel across from U.S. Embassy, Francis is off to his interview. The first attempt was denied under what is called “Section 214(b)” on the basis that he could not prove sufficient non-immigrant intent. In other words, he failed to prove that he would return to the Philippines.

Saddened but determined, we then decided we might be more successful going the student visa route. Since Francis has a Bachelor’s degree in Nursing, we looked and found colleges in my area that offered ongoing nursing programs. Not only would we be together, but he could enhance his credentials and be able to work through the school in on-job learning, within the guidelines of the student visa restrictions.

More research, paperwork, and my having to show that, as his U.S. sponsor, I had the capacity to support his education and living expenses while in America. In addition, Francis had to complete English courses and tests to prove his English-speaking abilities. Fortunately, his enrollment was accepted by one of the colleges and he was immediately issued his I-20. Even better was the fact that this college is just minutes from my house!

Again, off on another flight to Manila, more hotel stays, another long line at the Embassy, and another denial. Once more, denied due to the failure to prove his intent to return.

We are obviously disappointed, but there’s something about when you want something bad enough you just are not ready to accept defeat. As a result, we decided to go the student visa route once again, use a consultant firm, and armed with knowing what mistakes we made in the first two attempts.

At this point we needed a success. Since I had some vacation time coming I decided to travel to the Philippines to meet Francis' family in his hometown of Davao. From there we would travel to his family home of Midsayap, a rural area in southern Mindanao. Upon our arrival in Davao, we were met by his brother, sister-in-law, and our god-daughter, Arianna. I knew this was going to be a life-changing event the moment I climbed into the van they rented to take us on our journey. In the window was a sign that read:

“Welcome to Davao City Philippines, Kevin Yeager We are happy to see you. Feel at home and be one of us. Thank you very much. Mabuhay.” 

Even recalling this event takes me back to that moment and the overwhelming feelings that were going on inside my heart. I knew at this instant that this was the spouse and family I had dreamed of but never thought it possible for me.

Upon our arrival in the area Francis was born and raised, I was introduced to his parents and many other family members. There were hugs and handshakes from people who, in an instant, were no longer strangers but a family I might have known my whole life. It was as if I was coming home. And, I had Francis, my mahal, with me.

The next day was spent traveling to Francis’ family home. I thought I understood the word rural, but it was completely redefined on that day. Francis grew up on a farm. A typical tropical farm where his family made a living harvesting bananas, rice, and coconuts that surround a home referred to as a Nipa hut, I believe. A home built from the resources right there available on the farm. Even in the tropical heat that day, to have an intimate look at my fiancé's background and perspective was a gift that I cannot express completely in words alone. Here we are two people, from completely different worlds, whose paths somehow crossed to lead to this moment.

Later that evening his family threw us an engagement celebration. The event was one that we will never forget - our engagement was both recognized and supported by Francis' entire family. The Philippines is a poor country, families live in conditions that are unimaginable to many Americans. Yet, Francis’ family used their very limited resources and put together a celebration to both recognize our commitment in addition to officially welcoming me to the family. I met Francis' Lola (grandmother), the family matriarch. I remember to this very moment, the feeling of her grasping my wrist and whispering, “I would like to welcome you to our family.”

Upon my return to the U.S., Francis continued his English classes to study for the English exam as needed for our next shot at a student visa. Again, his enrollment application was accepted by the college, he received the I-20, we paid the $200 fee along with both the consultant’s and visa application fees. A trip to Cebu to meet with the consultant, then a flight to Manila, more hotels, and standing loaded down with documentation for an interview. But again the door was slammed shut in our face with nothing but an emptier bank account, heartbreak, and one more piece of paper with excuses for denying Francis the visa.

We are saddened that we must continue to endure this separation due to the injustice of current American immigration laws. Although I am periodically able to travel to and from the Philippines with no problem, it is both expensive and relegated to when time off from work is available.

Our story is like so many other same-sex binational couples in similar circumstances who are forced to live apart due to current discriminatory restrictions. I wonder how many people realize the financial and emotional toll we have to endure?

I now am more determined than ever to find a path in which Francis and I can be together. I have considered relocating to the Philippines and living in exile at least until a change is made in our current laws. I have consulted numerous immigration attorneys who are sympathetic, yet all agree that this is almost a no-win situation. There has been discussion of the option of possibly sponsoring Francis for a work visa through my family's business. I have researched this, but it appears to be quite complicated navigating all the paperwork, understanding requirements, and whether it is even viable.

Although sad and frustrated, I will continue my search for a solution to this insanity. Each obstacle we face results in our being even more determined to succeed in our goal of creating the life of which we dream. A life, unfortunately, only now afforded to a specific segment of our country’s population. Our hope is that soon we, and all the other couples who continue to be separated, or face the possibility of separation, will no longer have to endure this legacy of injustice. We all deserve a life and family not separated by distance and discriminatory immigration laws.

I made a promise to Francis. I will not stop, I will not give in, and I will not allow any person, embassy, law, or injustice to have the final say in our life together. This is my vow to my beloved Francis, the one man whose path crossed mine by some universal miracle. I now fight not only for our dream, but for the dreams of countless couples who know the pain of separation due to the inequality of our current immigration and marriage laws.

Are you a same-sex binational couple? Do you have families / friends affected by this issue? Please contact us at http://bit.ly/O4ICountMeIn if you are interested in sharing your story.