Judy and Karin: Volunteering for Our Cause Leads to a Handshake and a Few Words with President Obama

Guest post by Judy Rickard, author of Torn Apart: United by Love, Divided by Law

I wanted to share the experience my wife Karin and I had attending President Obama's speech on Comprehensive Immigration Reform (CIR) in Las Vegas this week.

I think it's important to remember that we are all volunteers in the struggle to get green cards and permanency for our spouses and families. None of us are paid to do this work. Some of us have special talents we share. Others help by doing as asked, or getting other volunteers or whatever. Some may just make or collect donations. That's great too. That's what makes Out4Immigration a community - shared grassroots organizing and volunteering and success. Sometimes something too good to pass up happens, too. This was one of those times. But first, a bit of history...

Karin and I found out about O4I several years ago when I went to a town hall meeting on immigration in San Jose. Rep. Mike Honda and Rep. Luis Gutierrez headed it up. It was at a Catholic Church. I had recently shared my story with Mike, my Congressional Representative, and he had learned more about the issue facing same-sex binational couples. I was prepared to say something at the town hall, based on what we thought would happen that night. When we got to the church hall, two things happened that made me work harder to solve my problem. First, we were told that nothing about gays and lesbians could be shared at the hall that night. Ouch! And second, two guys came in wearing t-shirts that I thought were the coolest things I had ever seen. Turned out to be Amos and Mickey Lim, two of the founders of O4I. I asked them where I could get a shirt and I met O4I that night.

Get your t-shirt here!

Fast forward to 2013 and four more years of working to get a green card for my wife and get this issue solved for all of us. Where am I? In a high school gymnasium in Las Vegas, Nevada. Why? I've been invited by the White House to be at the President's speech on CIR. Invited by the White House! At first, I told them we could not afford to come. But then we were urged to go by friends in the cause, Love Exiles Foundation, and then Karin got really excited and took money out of savings. In less than 24 hours of hearing about it, we were on the plane. Wow!

Over the years, I have shared on my blog how it feels to document your life while you live it. For any same-sex binational couple trying to get a green card, you know there are days when you are tired of everyone knowing your business, federal officials dictating your life choices, stress others don't have, and just sheer exhaustion from the process. 

Two very powerful moments happened...

We know all that. But somehow this event seemed to make that all go away for a bit. We felt empowered and hopeful. We clapped and cheered. But we also felt bad when the words we wanted to hear did not come from the President's mouth as he stood on the podium. All was not lost or sad, though. Two very powerful moments happened and I can tell you with certainty because they happened to me and us.

Secretary of Homeland Security Janet Napolitano was to be seated behind us. As she walked in, I talked to her about our issue and shook her hand and thanked her for her efforts thus far. She said "It's in the President's proposal," meaning inclusion of same-sex binational families in comprehensive immigration reform.

...we shook President Obama's hand and reminded him we need his help. What did he say? "We won't forget you! You're in there!"

As the President concluded his speech, he did the rope line - shaking hands along the edge of the seating area. Since we had been given front row seats, Karin and I were at the rope line! In spite of the crush of people who surged behind us and pushed us into the barrier, we shook President Obama's hand and reminded him we need his help. What did he say? "We won't forget you! You're in there!" Wow! We were both shaking his hands at the time. It was surreal - really surreal.

So we felt terrific about those two moments, along with all the day's other wonderful bits, as Karin would say. Who came in and sat next to us? Jose Antonio Vargas, that's who! He and I screamed and hugged like middle school girls - we love each other so and respect each other's work so. I got my photo taken with Secretary of Labor Hilda Solis before we entered the gym. That was terrific! We met a staffer from the White House Office of Engagement, Julie, who will be getting a signed copy of my book in the mail soon. I met several elected officials and immigration organization executives who were interested in our slice of the immigration reform pie and they will be getting signed books, too. 

Speaker John Perez from the California State Assembly was there and we got duck pins from him after Karin asked if he had any ducks with him. We learned of his hobby in Sacramento in 2011 when we were there as I got an award for my LGBT activism from the State Assembly.

Our young friend Omar Torres from San Jose came to the event - we got him a ticket after he contacted me. I love to see younger folks doing the work and learning the ropes so we know immigration and civil rights work will continue. Guess I feel like a mother hen, but that's ok!
 

Of course being in Las Vegas, we had to have a little tourist time. We made a few bucks on a nickel machine to help pay the plane and food bills. We walked around a bit and saw interesting things. 

But I blogged and talked to reporters too. It wasn't all just play, that's for sure. I encourage you to read the blog I wrote about the speech event before it happened. Go to: http://tornapart.findhornpress.com/?p=11345 

For the blog I wrote after the speech is at this link. Go to http://tornapart.findhornpress.com/?p=11361

The complete immigration reform proposal from President Obama, which includes same-sex binational couples/families is in this blog, Go to: http://tornapart.findhornpress.com/?p=11408

We were thrilled to get this picture from our family in the UK who saw us this close to the President on their TV!

If you want to follow my adventures trying to get the U.S. government to recognize my marriage, go to: http://tornapart.findhornpress.com

You can see the Torn Apart: United by Love, Divided by Law Facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/pages/Torn-Apart-United-by-Love-Divided-by-Law/116343758442046?ref=hl

You can see the Torn Apart: United by Love, Divided by Law Portrait Project Facebook page at

https://www.facebook.com/unitedbylovedividedbylaw?ref=hl

You can also follow me on twitter @tornapartbook

My favorite photo of our trip to Vegas? My wife Karin and a couple of showgirls!

Judy Rickard is the author of Torn Apart: United by Love, Divided by Law, a book which documents the lives of more than 20 same-sex binational couples affected by exclusion of equal immigration rights for gay and lesbian Americans in realtionships with foreign nationals. Judy generously donates royalties from the book's sales to three groups working with same-sex binationals - Out4Immigration, Love Exiles and Immigration Equality. The phrase "United by Love, Divided by Law" was coined by Out4Immigration. Judy uses the phrase as a subtitle to her book with our permission. If you have a project you would like to launch using the phrase, or to volunteer with Out4Immigration, contact us at info@out4immigration.org.

Report on NQAPIA Conference and Briefing on AAPI Issues at the White House

by Amos Lim

I had the honor of representing Out4Immigration in attending the NQAPIA Annual Conference at Arlington, VA from July 19 – July 22.  The trip was partially financed from a grant from ARCUS Foundation. 

As part of the conference, the attendees were invited to a briefing on AAPI Issues at the White House. One of the issues that were to be discussed was LGBT Immigration. Felicia Esobar, Senior Policy Director for Immigration, attended the briefing.

While I did not get to ask my questions during the briefing (there were about 75 people in attendance), I did manage to hand a packet of materials and information for Ms Escobar about Out4Immigration and same-sex binational couples.  Included in the packet was a request for the Obama Administration to issue a Memorandum/Order similar to the one issued to the DREAM Act students that would, at the very least, hold green card applications in abeyance until the constitutionality of DOMA can be decided by the Supreme Court. (Click here to see the contents of the packet delivered to the White House.)

I want to thank all of those who contributed donations in time and money to help me prepare our message to the White House and to get me to Washington  for the WH meeting/briefing and conference.

I also want to thank my husband, Mickey Lim and my precious 4-year-old daughter for their support in allowing me to travel to from San Francisco to Washington, and most important, our angels at the National Center for Lesbian Rights and specifically Shannon Minter for putting me up at a hotel for the extra night needed when the White House opportunity came up. 

One of the most important things I learned from this trip to the White House as well as the conference itself is that there is power in telling your stories.  You might sometimes feel alone in this struggle, you might feel invisible in this struggle and you might feel that all is lost for your partner and you… but I can assure you that it is NOT!

Here’s some of the things that you can do:

• Use our blog to tell your stories.
• Submit a photo to the United by Love, Divided by Law Tumblr blog.  We have created a poster board with some of the pictures posted and they have been shown at Pride events in San Francisco and Sacramento as well as at the NQAPIA Conference.
• Make an appointment to meet with your Congressional representative! They will be back in their home districts in August while Congress is in recess so this is a great time to meet them and tell your story!

It has really been very empowering to bring your stories to the world, whether it is publishing them on our blog, or showing your photos to the world on our United by Love Divided by Law Tumblr blog, or sharing stories from the book, “Torn Apart”, or from the documentary film, “Entry Denied”.  Every story told is important because it sheds a light on the discriminatory impact laws like DOMA have on same-sex binational couples, and the more people find out about us, the more sympathetic they become to our issue and the word spreads about the need for change.

At Out4Immigration, we hope that you know that you are not alone in this struggle and that relief will come. It might not be as fast as we want it to be but if we all keep telling our stories, keep pushing, refusing to be ignored, it will happen!

I long for the day when all my brothers and sisters can be together in this country (or any country of their choice!) without fear! I long for the day when there is no need for an all-volunteer organization like Out4Immigration to exist anymore.

It can happen, but it won't happen without every single one of you getting involved.

Contact us at info@out4immigration.org for more information on what you can do to help.

Obama Administration Sends Conflicting Messages on Same-Sex Binational Couples and DOMA

by Chris Barnett in collaboration with Out4Immigration and Lavi Soloway

Here's our latest petition, starting with background:

Petition link: http://tinyurl.com/3ebxc5h

On June 8th at the tail end of a White House press conference, Press Secretary Jay Carney was asked about the ongoing deportations of same-sex spouses of Americans, specifically:

“In June 2009 the Department of Homeland Security issued a memorandum on deporting certain widows and widowers of U.S. citizens. At the time, Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano said that, “smart immigration policy balances strong enforcement practices with the common-sense practical solutions to complicated issues.” Yet, in May, asked about requests by advocates for a moratorium on deportation of foreign partners and same-sex binational relationships, similar to the 2009 moratorium, you said the President can’t just wave a wand and change the law. Can you explain the difference there?”

The answer from Mr. Carney? A) The President cannot wave a magic wand. B) That we need to work on comprehensive immigration reform and generate bipartisanship support for it sometime in the future, one day it will happen.

Imagine having plans for your life, your career, your family, your dreams—even your ability to go home to the one you love in the evening—hinge upon successful comprehensive immigration reform! It’s ludicrous to think any citizens would be faced with this, yet thousands of Americans and their families are.

While a court has struck down The Defense of Marriage Act as unconstitutional, and the Justice Department’s agreement with that, one must wonder why no action has been taken to stop the deportations.

This equivocating at the highest branches of government MUST stop. Press Secretary Carney is the mouthpiece for this administration, and his answers are highly unsatisfactory to the estimated 54,000 couples whose partners are at risk of deportation.

The body of our petition letter springboards from the words of Attorney Lavi Soloway, writing in response to the interchange described above. We have been saying for a long time that this is a community issue. As long as some of us are not free to choose where we want to live and who we want to commit our lives to, then no one is free. If we do not have the support of wider community, we allow injustice to perpetrate. Please sign our petition letter, and please share it on!

Out4Immigration (O4I) is an all grassroots volunteer organization. Each week we target members of Congress, elected and appointed officials, and policy makers with our weekly petition urging them to do something to change the unjust laws that keep same-sex binational couples from fair and just immigration rights.

You can visit Out4Immigration at its website, through its Yahoo Group Page, on Facebook and Twitter, or at its blog. If you know someone in a same-sex binational relationship, please encourage them to speak up and get involved. The time for justice is now!

Petition link: http://tinyurl.com/3ebxc5h

And here is the letter:

Please Lead on the issue of Binational Same-sex Families Being Torn Apart by DOMA

Dear Press Secretary Carney,

At a White House press briefing on June 8, you were asked about the ongoing deportations of spouses of lesbian and gay American citizens. By responding that the administration is focused on bipartisan comprehensive immigration reform rather than addressing the impact of the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) on lesbian and gay American citizens with foriegn spouses, you sidestepped both the question and the essence of the matter.

We believe that a more focused effort to address this issue is long overdue, and simply diverting these questions about the impact of DOMA on same-sex binational couples by re-framing it as an immigration reform issue is no longer acceptable. Some American families continue to be less equal than others, their lives are being destroyed, and the culprit is DOMA. This administration has rejected DOMA in every way possible and must work to ensure its swift repeal; meanwhile, we need clarification from the administration: how will the White House ensure that LGBT Americans with law-abiding, foreign spouses are not torn apart by unnecessary deportations?

One of the most prominent voices advocating for binational same-sex couples is attorney Lavi Soloway, a veteran of LGBT immigration and Marriage Equality movements and the founder of the Stop The Deportations - The DOMA Project campaign. This was his reaction to the answer you gave at the press briefing, which was published in Metro Weekly by Chris Geidner:

“It is true that comprehensive reform is desperately needed to fix our broken immigration system. But achieving bipartisan support in the foreseeable future is extremely unlikely and, frankly, irrelevant at this point to the thousands of lesbian and gay binational couples who are threatened with deportation, separation, and exile. By repeatedly returning to its comprehensive immigration reform talking points, the administration side-steps what is at the core of this issue: Equality.

We agree. With all due respect, this is not about achieving comprehensive reform, bipartisan or otherwise. It is about treating all American citizens with foreign spouses with respect and compassion by protecting them from being torn apart. The executive branch has the power to ensure that our families are at least protected from deportation today while we continue the fight for full equality.

Same-sex binational couples should not need to wait until immigration reform is achieved years from now, because US immigration law already provides for an American citizen to sponsor his or her spouse for a “green card.” It is DOMA that is destroying the lives of same-sex binational couples, not a lack of immigration reform.

This administration believes DOMA is unconstitutional and refuses to defend it in federal court. Just last week the White House informed us that President Obama “believes that Americans with partners from other countries should not be faced with a painful choice between staying with their partner or staying in their country.” The President must take action immediately to ensure that no Americans face this choice. He can do this by putting in place a moratorium on the deportations that would protect all LGBT binational couples until DOMA’s fate is resolved by Congress or the courts.

The administration has an opportunity and a responsibility here to match its public statements about DOMA and same-sex binational couples with action. We simply cannot accept that the admirable goal of achieving comprehensive immigration reform requires that unnecessary “DOMA deportations” must continue. Along with 65 members of the House and Senate, we urge the President to put a halt to all deportations of spouses of LGBT Americans.

The conflicting messages coming from the White House leave us with no protection against the deportation of our spouses and partners. We are not asking the President to “wave a magic wand.” We are asking for meaningful, and overdue, leadership on this irreparable harm that is being perpetrated on our families because of DOMA.

Sincerely--

[Your name]

Petition link: http://tinyurl.com/3ebxc5h

Protesting the President

Last week, Out4Immigration collaborated with GetEQUAL and Marriage Equality USA (MEUSA) on our first effort to lead a protest in front of the Nob Hill Masonic Center in San Francsico, where President Obama was holding a fundraiser for his 2012 Presidential Campaign.

The event was pulled together within a week with Heather Cronk & Dennis Veite of Get EQUAL and Erik Schnabel of Out4Immigration. We had no expectations of how big or how small the turnout might be but we felt that with the recent roller coaster ride that the Obama administration put us through (see previous posts about USCIS abeyance policy), it was time to step up and remind the President of his campaign promises and that our families are still being torn apart due to the unfair immigration laws and unfair treatment under federal laws.

As with all events that involve the President or any Congressional representatives, there is always the small chance that the event might be rescheduled or canceled. And after a week of careful planning, that is exactly what happened. We got word on the morning of our protest that the President’s schedule had changed and he would not arrive at the Masonic until 8:30pm (an hour and half later than planned). We did our best to notify everyone through Facebook and press release that the time of our action had changed. This is not easy, since we’re an all grassroots group of volunteers, but we got the message out and people helped us spread the word.

Dennis, Erik and myself were outside Grace Cathedral, just opposite from the Masonic Center at around 6pm. We were located between ANSWER and Code Pink. We had our banners out in front of the barricades with the tagline “Stop Deporting Our Partners!” and were gathered there waiting for more people to show up.

Stephen Zollman was one of the first people to show up. He came wearing an Out4Immigration t-shirt. He had two tickets to the event and asked if one of us would like to go inside. We agreed Dennis should go – Stephen would wear the O4I shirt and Dennis would bring a sign that said "Equality Rights for All". We weren’t sure they’d get in with the t-shirt and the sign but they were going to try.

Around 7pm, Ms C (she prefers not to be identified) showed up in an orange jumpsuit with 2 signs that says “My crime is LOVE” and “My spouse is A-BROAD”. She was followed by Dave, who is separated from his partner who is unable to get a visa to come into this country. Dave also brought a sign that says “Support UAFA!” A few others soon joined us as well.

The signs, our t-shirts and the banner attracted a lot of attention from other groups and onlookers. There were a lot of people who took photographs of the signs with some asking for more information. While waiting for more people to arrive, we used the time to get to know each other more and share our stories.

ANSWER, the anti-war group that had the biggest contingent there set up a sound system and had a group of speakers ready to speak about their issues and their causes. At the end of that group of speakers, they started to reach out to the other organizations and approached us. Just as I walked up to the microphone and spoke, Obama's motorcade arrived and stopped in front of Masonic Center.

I used the opportunity as the final speaker to speak about why we were there. We were there because it was time for President Obama to act. We need him to demand that Congress finally pass the United American Families Act! We need him to urge Secretary Napolitano to reverse the policy of abeyance so that families facing deportation will not be deported and green card applications will not be denied since his administration has decided that Section 3 of DOMA is unconstitutional! We also need him to pass Comprehensive Immigration Reform that includes LGBT Families! We need him to do this because families are needlessly torn apart and broken up and we need action now.

I hope President Obama as he headed into the auditorium heard what I said. I hope that as his motorcade drove past us, he saw the banner that said "Stop Deporting Our Partners!" and I hope he takes action now.

This was a good first effort by us and we are grateful for the support of GetEQUAL and MEUSA –we could not have done this without them. Both groups are willing to work with us again, so if you would like to help us be part of more actions like this in the future, please let us know by sending an email to info@out4immigration.org.

Grassroots Actions for Same-Sex Binationals this Week

Out4Immigration needs you to take part in a variety of grassroots actions - most of which you can do from your laptop.

Our biggest action this week, however, does require you to come out and join us in San Francisco from 4pm - 6pm this Wednesday, April 20. President Obama is coming to town and Out4Immigration, GetEQUAL and Marriage Equality USA (MESUA) will be out in force to stop asking, and start demanding that the US government start recognizing same-sex binational couples for immigration purposes and stop deporting our partners.

Where: Nob Hill Masonic Center, 1111 California St. (btwn Jones and Taylor), SF
When: Wednesday, April 20, 4pm-6pm
What to Bring: Wear your O4I t-shirts if you have one (if not, you can contact amos@out4immigration.org to request one -- we ask for $10 donation); bring signs that have a direct ask for President Obama. He can't pass UAFA or repeal DOMA, but he can stop deporting our partners and he can speak out on DOMA's unconstitutionality.
RSVP on Facebook!

If this action is successful, we will begin trying to stage more around the country. So, if you are in the Bay Area, please come out. If you live elsewhere, please spread the word.

We have some other important grassroots actions that need your attention.

1) A strong ally of ours, DREAM Activist Prerna Lal is facing removal proceedings. Prerna has an amazing story. She has helped us, and now she needs our support. Read Prerna's story, sign the petition and circulate.

2) On May 6, Henry Velandia and Josh Vandiver, a legally married same-sex binational couple, face the horrors of being permanently separated when Henry appears for a deportation decision in federal court. We've got to stop the deportation of Henry Velandia and you can start by signing and circulating this petition.

3) Speak out in general on the forced separations and deportations of same-sex binational couples by telling the United States Citizen and Immigration Services, Department of Homeland Security and President Obama to stop separating loving and committed couples. Sign and circulate.

4) Last week the Uniting American Families Act (UAFA) was re-introduced in Congress with record support. We need all of the original co-sponsors from the last session back on board. Sign and circulate this petition. UAFA is a part of the strategy to pressure our government at every branch. It spells out the problem and offers a solution. If lawmakers don't think it will pass in this Congress, they can certainly use its significant support to leverage our other judicial and administrative strategies.

Rachel Maddow Breaks Down Obama's DOMA Decision with Tobias Wolff

This MSNBC clip has an added bonus about 5 minutes into its excellent analysis of President Obama's decision that the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) is unconstitutional. Penn State Professor of Law Tobias Wolff, LGBT policy chair for the Obama 2008 Presidential Campaign, says that while this move on DOMA is great news, we still have work to do, namely, "Same-sex couples are still treated unequally under federal immigration law."

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Obama Administration Finding DOMA Unconstitional is a "Spark of Hope" for Same-Sex Binationals

This piece was written by Martha McDevitt-Pugh, Founder and Chair of Love Exiles. It originally appeared on the Love Exiles blog.

Love Exiles from the United States of America are looking at the light at the end of a long tunnel, with the likely ending of DOMA. The Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) was a major obstacle to US LGBT citizens with foreign partners who wanted to live in the United States. With President Obama declaring that he will not defend the Defense of Marriage Act because it discriminates against LGBT families, many Love Exiles with legal spouses are daring to think they will be able to return to the US.

Love Exiles are binational LGBT couples who do not have the freedom to live in either or both countries of citizenship of the partners. The Netherlands is home to many Love Exiles from the United States, living here with their Dutch or European partner because it is possible here but not in the US. Immigration law in the United States recognizes only heterosexual marriages – US citizens who want to sponsor their partner to live with them in the United States must marry.

DOMA has stood in the way of immigration reform for LGBT families. DOMA has meant that each state in the nation chooses whether the institution of marriage can be opened to LGBT couples – and whether that state recognizes the legal union formed between two people of the same sex in other states or abroad. Getting rid of DOMA will open the way for US immigration law to acknowledge marriages between binational same-sex couples.

The "tipping point" in the demise of DOMA seems to be Edith Winsor’s lawsuit. When her Dutch-born wife Thea Spyer died, after a partnership spanning 44 years, the government sent Edith a large tax bill for Thea’s part of their shared property. Edith went to court demanding their relationship be recognized as family, in which case the state would not tax her. On reviewing the case, Obama recognized blatant anti-gay discrimination and announced he was not willing to defend DOMA.

Married Love Exiles are now full of hope that they will be able to return to their country and their families, bringing their foreign partner with them. People are asking the Love Exiles Foundation questions like “When can we go home?” “Can I sue for a Green Card?”

The Love Exiles Foundation was set up in 2002 in Amsterdam in the first place to let Love Exiles know they are not alone, and to influence US lawmakers to stop discriminating against LGBT families in US immigration law. There are Love Exiles groups in Great Britain, Canada, Australia, Germany and the Netherlands.

Founder and Chair Martha McDevitt-Pugh is happy with the probable demise of DOMA. "But don’t forget, there are only 5 States in the US where LGBT people can marry. If one of the partners lives in Florida, and the other in say, Kenya, they cannot marry and they are still faced with an immigration law that will not accommodate them. We have to change the immigration law to recognize permanent partners, not just spouses."

President Obama Directs Justice Department to Stop Defending DOMA

In a major stand for gay and lesbian rights, President Obama ordered the Justice Department to stop defending the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) in courts. Language in DOMA for years has prevented same-sex biantional couples from accessing the same immigration rights opposite-sex binational couples have, namely the right of an American citizen to sponsor their partner for immigration purposes.

We're watching this closely, and will bring you updates as we get confirmation on how this will proceed. For now, here is how the story appeared earlier today in the New York Times: http://www.nytimes.com/2011/02/24/us/24marriage.html?_r=2&hp

Below is our statement to the press.

Out4Immigration welcomes the Obama Administration's view that Section 3 of DOMA is unconstitutional. Since 1996 DOMA has prohibited the federal government from recognizing gay and lesbian relationships. Nowhere has the discrimination in this law had a more devastating impact than on the lives of same-sex binational couples, who are barred by the language of DOMA from sponsoring a foreign partner for immigration purposes. We have seen hundreds of same-sex binational couples torn apart and forced to make the unfathomable choice between their country or the person they love because DOMA prevents loving and committed same-sex couples from accessing over 1,100 federal rights that protect a relationship. We look forward to the day when DOMA is history, and when same-sex binational couples can have all the same rights that opposite-sex binational couples currently enjoy.