Monday, May 13, 2013

Our Story: Howard & Shumon

"My heart aches. What else to do? I love him and he loves me."


I never thought I would ever feel this way. I just returned from Dhaka, Bangladesh last week, after spending two glorious weeks with my beloved fiancé Shumon. He is Muslim and I am Christian. We compromise easily. Every time we speak we fall deeper and deeper in love and even more in love than before as if that could even be possible.

Bangladesh is a dangerous place. In particular for gay people but also for Christians and also for Americans. I fall under all three categories. My faith and my Shumon took the best care of me while I was there.

I observed a lot while in Dhaka. I had to change a lot about my American ways in order to function day to day in Bangladesh. I would do it over and over for my love, my jaan.

We have talked about marriage. I would marry him in a heartbeat. We have been a couple since June 2012 ...having met in February 2012. We have spent most of our time together apart, but we have never once missed a day of communication with one another. We call at the same time, we text at the same time. We are truly kindred spirits.

We cried together last week while sitting side by side on his bed. We want nothing more than to be happy together forever. I fear for his life in Bangladesh. It is not a friendly place for us. It’s okay for visits, weddings, funerals maybe, but that's all.

If the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) is overturned, in particular section 3, that could mean a world of difference for us and so many other same-sex binationals like us. Our love is forever. We tell each other we will NEVER leave each other ever. My heart aches. I try to hold back the tears and wait until a decision is made by the Supreme Court. I read about immigration reform and hope that the amendments proposed by Sen. Leahy will get same-sex binationals into that bill – that our relationships will be recognized for immigration, just like opposite-sex couples.

What else to do? I love him and he loves me.

Are you a same-sex binational couple? Do you have families / friends affected by this issue?
Please contact us at if you are interested in sharing your story. 

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